Another Long Distance Lesbian
In typical lesbian fashion I have found myself in a long distance relationship. I’m obssessed (a healthy amount) with someone who is currently four hundred miles away from me and I am very quickly beginning to understand the desire to u-haul in the lesbian community. But anyway, here’s three things I have learned from being long distance.
- If you are a jealous person like me, you have to get that under control.
In an attempt to be the “cool” girlfriend I suggested to my partner that they get tinder in order to make friends, as they had done this before and this had worked for them. Naive you may call me. Correct you would be. I really thought Jax having both a picture of me and the word ‘taken’ in their bio would make it obvious that they really were just wanting friends, obviously I was wrong. One smirky face message led to me uncontrollably sobbing convinced I would soon be single, and on tinder myself. Forgetting the part where my partner had actively told me this girl was flirting and asking me how to politely reinforce the fact they have a girlfriend. Apparently my ears stopped working at this moment in time. Sorry Jax, love you hehe. Seriously though, after a uneeded arguement and some time to reflect listening to my “my eyes are leaking” playlist and preparing myself for heartbreak, I realised that I can’t control the actions of others. If I fancy my partner, other people are going to to and that’s okay. Ultimately, if someone is going to cheat on you they are going to cheat on you, you can’t control that. All you can control is how you react. Arguing about things that haven’t happened are only going to push you away from each other. So, don’t be like me. Don’t be a Leo.
2. Arguing with each other is one hundred times worse when long distance.
When you do have these agruments, they are so much worse because you aren’t with each other. It’s so much easier to make up with somone when they are in the same room as you and you can just make the other person laugh or kiss and makeup. These things are pretty hard to do when you’re partner is so annoyed at you they won’t even answer your FaceTime and you’re left sitting looking at your ragin face in your phone reflection wondering when on earth your forehead got so wrinkly. They go on for longer because its easier to ignore each other and they really do become a waste of time. We have had to get a lot better at communicating but also learning when we do need to give the other person space.
3. You learn to fully appreciate your time together.
I think its easy to fall into habits when it comes to relationships. The relationship itself can even become a habit. With long distance you don’t really have that option. When you leave, you are not always sure when you’ll next be seeing other. So, you make sure to make the most of the time you have together. My partner and I are disgustingly cringe most of the time we are with each other because we have five weeks of affection saved up. With long distance there is no last minute chill nights together, its scheduling time off work, rearranging plans and organising around when you can see your partner. Because of this though, the time you spend with your partner is so fun. Of course we love a chill night but it’s basically four days of dates and I can’t even explain how need it is after our time apart.
Happy pride, stay gay x
